I had a tattoo done when i was 16 and would like to know how I can get rid of it?

I would like to learn how to modify standard body piercing jewelry (captive bead rings, barbells, etc.) so that the removable component (such as the captive or threaded bead) can no longer be removed, resulting in permanently-installed rings and barbells. The idea of permanent earrings is mentioned on Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_piercing#Permanent_earrings

There is a similar example of permanent piercings being used for chastity on the BME Encyclopedia:

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Permanent_Piercing

I would like to know if there are any manufacturers of non-removable piercing jewelry or what methods would be most effective in converting standard jewelry without negatively affecting the piercing or the look of the jewelry itself.
While other body modifications such as transdermal implants tend to be harder to remove than standard piercings, I would like to know of ways that body piercing modifications can be made to be as permanent as tattoos.

OK, ha ha, the Giants won. I got the tattoo. I’m sick of it, and my girlfriend can’t have sex with me anymore without laughing hysterically. I’m feeling inadequate. Joke’s over.